Boys, What'll I do with them?

Well, my girls' constant bickering and arguing are nothing to brag about and they certainly have their moments, but my sons will be the death of me, I swear!

One is 17 and thinks he is an adult and knows it all, only to know nothing- he has so much to learn in this lifetime. He got fired from his job- again last week (this is the third job in a year that he has gotten fired from) and so now he is just lying around sleeping his life away... Now, he gets sick and has two large lumps in his throat and he needs to go to the doctor, incase it is mumps or whatever but will he- no, he is too stubborn. Doesn't want to see no stinking doctor. Then my dad (who is 83 and gets things all mixed up) told him that if it was mumps and they went "down" on him that they would castrate him. Well, that would keep me from going, too. He meant to tell him that it could make him sterile.... Old Tymer's....

Then the other one, who is ONLY 6 YEARS OLD, mind you keeps stealing us blind and lying like a professional. Now, I have investigated many crimes in my days as an investigator and have had the best of the best try to get one over on me. This small child lies like there is no tomorrow and you can't turn your head or he steals right out from under your nose. I have tried grounding him, taking priveleges away, threatening taking him to jail, putting him in what I called "baby jail"- rice and water for a day, no playing, no nothing. None of this has worked and he keeps on doing it.

I remember when I was about 10 or 11 and my mom and I went to City Motors Mobile Home Sales (why, I don't remember, because we lived in a brick home), but anyhoo- Oh gosh, I've picked it up!!!- there was this coke machine and while my mom was talking, I just started pushing buttons. Well, low and behold, a Sprite came right out of nowhere without a dime of mine. Well, of course I opened it and drank it. My mom noticed on the way home and asked me where I got it and when I told her, she wheeled right around and took me back there where she made me pay the man and apologize. I was totally mortified! That was enough for me, I never did something like that again. Now, if it happens today, its just "luck" and I'll drink it, but steal- I don't think so.

Now, why is this child doing this and now I am freaking out that he may have some real issues, because he is stealing food in large quantities. In two days, he ate a whole pack of bologna, a whole package of sliced cheese, two bags of chips, about 12 things of beef jerky, two fruit rollups, 6 candy bars, a package of cookies and some other stuff. Now a grown adult couldn't eat all of this without busting a gut- tell me how a 45 pound boy can gorge himself and not blink an eye.

Okay, so what do I do? I don't know if he is stealing to eat for emotional reasons or has an eating disorder or just stealing for the thrill of it. I think I need to call a therapist.......