Back in the Game

I haven't posted in several days because...well, because things have been a little chaotic (okay, not a little, a bunch) on the home front.

Have you ever had a day where everything around you just came crashing down and came to a head and you just wanted to leave it all? Just check out of Mommyville and Wife Motel? Well that is the week I had last week. Now that everything is better, I can calmly and rationally talk about it.

Last Thursday I went on strike. No cooking, no cleaning, no laundry, no helping with homework, no fixing plates, no fixing school lunches, no sex, basically, NO NOTHING. I was "done, done, done!" with it all. I felt at my whits end and felt so unappreciated. I would wake up in the morning with my SD griping and arguing and treating everyone like crap, to the point where she almost sounded demon possessed. She would do everything in her power to ignore me to the extent where she would walk straight past me, look at me and go outside around the house or in the back yard to find her dad to ask him a question about school. She should have known he would tell her "Hell, I don't know, go ask Staci (which is what she calls me and sometimes it drives me mad I tell you- stark raving mad- another issue that I'll get to later). Anyhow, it is like she wants me to dissappear and be out of the equation. It almost worked because my and my baby girl's bags were packed ready to leave.

I know she has serious issues, but damn, when is she going to let go of the fact that her mother is dead and gone and not coming back and that she should feel blessed to have someone here to pick up the pieces and treat her like a real daughter. Not to mention that her dad lets her walk all over him and lets her get away with murder while everyone else in the household has to walk a chalk line.

Yes, I know what you are saying, this child needs counseling. Tried it three different times, but she just sits there like a bump on a log. My friend told me today that she suggests to let her sit there in counseling until the cows come home or until she talks and works through her issues. She's only 10 and if things are this bad now, my God how will things be when she is a teenager. I smell danger!

Then there is my BD (LSUgirl) who is my pride and joy and who makes me complete. She thinks her step dad doesn't love her because he is always on her case and he is not very good at being affectionate with hugs and kisses (stems from his alcoholic family background- a whole nuther blog...lol). I am just trying to get him to lighten up on her a little, yes she is lazy but she has a million wonderful qualities and I don't want her having a complex and I sure don't want her being so unhappy that she goes to live with her dad- which would absolutely shatter my heart into a million and one pieces.

So, needless to say, I was having a mental moment to the point of panic attacks. Instead of taking LSUgirl and running far, far away, we decided to try and work things out, got some friends to watch the kids for the weekend and went to a hotel and delve deep into our family issues. I swear, if it weren't for children, we would be in marital bliss but we are so opposite on so many different levels when it comes to our kids....

Well, we did work through things and we made a bunch of promises to each other to work on things. I've realized that I need to allow my children to be kids rather than to spend half the afternoon doing so many chores (like I had to do when I was a kid) and lighten up on them a little bit when it comes to their rooms being clean, etc. I have also realized that I am also a control freak and must work on that also. DH is going to work on his short fuse and looking at the positives in life and our family. When I am through with school, we have both agreed that we will take some classes on how to parent in a blended family or some serious counseling just for us and to get SD some intensive therapy to work through her issues.

Just getting him to agree that was a feat in itself, as he doesn't like to talk to anyone about his business or his problems. I truly believe in counseling because of the incredible outcomes I have seen while working with victims of domestic violence and child abuse. It works if you allow it to.

so, that's what's been going on in my life. Always drama. Now to add fuel to the fire, I must leave tomorrow at noon to go 4 hours away to south LA to a pre-school conference and leave DH here to take over the fort. This conference is going to cause me to miss my first day back at the university which starts tomorrow. So my life will be back in the fast life, which is where i function best, under extreme duress and stress. Idle time makes me ansy (another issue I need to work on...gosh, does it ever end????)

So any psychiatrist or psychologist out there to give me some suggestions on how to deal with a husband that doesn't like to talk, isn't affectionate, is negative and has a short fuse, a wife who is controlling, a perfectionist, works best going 90 to nothing in 6 different directions, a step daughter and step son who has gone through a divorce, then lost their mother, moved in with us, has anger and acceptance issues and both of whom are struggling in school and another daughter who is a sweetheart but is becoming like a crab in a shell to keep from saying or doing the wrong thing and walks on "broken glass and tacks and pins and needles" as she described it AND (no, I'm not finished yet...) an 18 year old who wants to be an adult and live on his own but won't work or stick with a job, quit school, is irresponsible, has a bad temper with plenty of issues of his own and is chronically depressed but refuses to take his medicine because it messes with is over active libido which he uses way too frequently for me????????.....

HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!!! Geez, writing it all in a nut shell, no wonder I have mental moments...... My family is crazy!