My ass hurts!

All my life I have taken ridicule about having a flat square ass. I take after my dad- he has one too and so do most of my sisters. I've dealt with it, I know I have a flat square ass, but hey, I don't have to look at it- so no big deal.

My mom jokes that I have that dreaded disease of Noassitall. I've tried padded panties, cushions in chairs, exercising, walking, eating...I just can't seem to get any type of meat on my ass. It is rather painful and even causes problems in the bedroom, uh um... my bones literally leave bruises on the hubby (poor baby).. okay TMI but I have to get you the real picture.

So last night, the problem just gets too much for me to handle. I had class at the college and its a 3 hour class with a break in between. They got these new desks with the chairs attached and I swear that these seats are harder than concrete. So twenty minutes in, I'm squirming and twitching and leaning forward and moving my bum all around. It was getting really painful. By the time class was over, I could hardly walk. I couldn't very well sit on my hands, I had to take notes. Not to mention I would have looked like a 7 year old...

Anyhow, I made the comment to DH that my bum felt bruised- it hurt so bad.
Well, I get up this morning, it still hurts, so I make him come examine. He pokes at a spot as I holler and says "right there"- well hell yeah- can't you see by my wincing that it hurts "right there"? anyhow, I literally have bruises on both sides. They are purple. Then I get in the shower and the water stings the bruises. Its like my bones came through my skin or so close that it caused it to be tender and irritated.

Now, this my friends is a true problem. Its not on the meaty portion of my ass, its right in the crease of my hips and butt coming together in the back, like where the leg line of your panties are. If you are a man reading this, just go somewhere else. You wouldn't understand.

How in the hell do you get cushion on this part of your ass?
I need an ass transplant, so anyone out there with a ghetto booty that don't want it- let me know- I'll take some of that tush! :)