Friday, March 10, 2006
What is wrong with me?
I tell you what, for the past month of so, several things have been going on with my body and I just can't figure out several things:1. why I am so damn tired all the time and have absolutely no energy. It doesn't matter how much sleep or rest I get- I hit the bed and pass out (just ask my poor hubby) and get up lifeless. It seems like I set the alarm clock, roll over, then it goes off. I didn't have to have chemo or radiation for the breast cancer and its been 3 months since the reconstructive part of the surgery. Shouldn't I have my energy back by now?
2. why I seem to be constantly putting something in my mouth, and most of the time it is junk, junk, junk. I did not lose 115 pounds for nothing. I refuse to gain it back and my mind tells me that all the time. My pants are tight and I feel super full and can't hardly breather sometimes, but I still reach for something else. It seems I have lost total control and can't gain it back.
3. I was so thrilled to be skinny and get into cute little outfits and shop, shop, shop- even though it was thrift stores or garage sales or dress for less stores. I enjoyed it. I felt pretty. Now its like I don't care what I wear, my baggy scrubs are perfectly fine, I don't want to go shopping and don't have the energy to do anything of the sort.
4. My back and neck are so tight, keep muscle spasms and hurt like crazy.
My DH has been so incredibly supportive and wonderful through this whole process and believe me, I am not always easy to live with when I am tired and cranky. Bless his heart, his way of relieving my stress is to tell me don't go to work, don't go to school or don't worry about homework- which really just stresses me more... But I have to tell you what he said to me that made me feel so loved. I was telling him that I couldn't quit work because we have too many bills and we need my salary to pay them. He said
"S the things we have are just material things. I would sell or give up everything and live in a cardboard box as long as you were in it with me. I just want you well and happy and nothing else matters. I would do anything for you as long as you are alive and healthy."Now, some of you may be thinking - so what- but those of you who know me know that my husband looooovvvvvvvveeeeeesss STUFF~!! If he's not wanting a tractor, its a boat, or a 4 wheeler, rent house, or tractor equipment or something. He loves to get new stuff. So his words really showed me how much he truly loves me and worries about me.
SO........
My oldest sister C. and I have always been extremely extraordinarily aware of anything with our bodies that are out of whack, to the point where when doctor's can't figure it out, we research and diagnose ourselves, then tell the doctor's our hunch, which eerily is usually correct.
Anyhow, because all these doctors keep saying to me that it is STRESS, STRESS, STRESS. Yes, I am an educated woman and I know that stress can wreak havoc on your body and mind but sometimes, there are just deeper issues.So, my sis and I have been researching and we suspect that we both may have adrenal fatigue. I have 12 of the 16 symptoms.
So I read up on it and really dove deep into the causes, symptoms, treatments, etc. and it really makes sense and guess what? Stress exacerbates the problems.
I call an endocrinologist to make an appointment (this was in February)so I can get some relief. My appointment is for April 19th. I have approximately 41 more days. Two months it takes me to get in the damn doctor's office just to tell her what is going on. Hell, I'll be dead from exhaustion by then. It makes no freakin sense.
So I am hoping that a cancellation will come up and I will get in earlier. If not, I guess me and the hubby will just have to suffer till I can get in. Anybody out there know anything about or have dealt with Adrenal Fatigue? I would love suggestions and information as to how it was delt with....
posted by Staci @ 1:05 PM |
