I'm Losing It

Okay, I have been informed that I am losing my mind by more than one person. I agree, my plate runneth over........okay, okay, it is a major flood. I have always been overloaded and usually my drive keeps me from totally losing it. I do very well under pressure, it is when things are over and there is a lul that it usually hits me. That is until recently. Here lately, my brain doesn't function right, I can't remember anything, it takes 3 calendars to keep me going each day, and I just don't have the drive I used to have. I really feel my age catching up with me.Soooo...

Why are they saying that I am losing it? Well, there is a child in the classroom next door that is extremely aggressive and bites and fights and pinches and throws things, but he can't talk and he is Autistic- which has a plethora of things going on there that I don't have a clue about. Anyhow, the teacher is trying to get pregnant by IVF and doesn't want to be hurt or what have you. So what did I do? I volunteered for him to come into my room. What was I thinking? My babies are so medically fragile and can't protect themselves. Now I offer to get Taz in here. But my heart goes out to him and he can be so sweet.

Then, I did another crazy thing. I volunteered to take over the 4H club at our school because the leader is out having a baby. Now, I didn't think it would be much to since the meetings are held at school. I had my first meeting today and it went okay. I have to admit, just getting them to hush long enough to hold the meeting was enough for my patience.

I have so little of that lately. I know my family needs me and I feel so guilty. I can't get enough sleep, I am neglecting my husband by falling asleep on the couch every night, dont' want to do anything but go get in my comfy bed and sleep, sleep, sleep. I have been having the wierdest dreams lately that just keep me running in my sleep all night. I am exhausted by the time the alarm clock goes off. I know I need to slow down but I dont' know what to give up. I need to finish school before I quit alltogether, I HAVE to work and I can't stop being a mom, daughter and wife.

Okay, sorry you had to suffer through my pity party....
I am hoping that with my upcoming surgery, I can get some much needed rest, although I get so bored being at home by myself. If I can have the willpower not to "volunteer" for anything else. Please Lord give me the strength to keep my mouth closed and my lips zipped and learn how to say NO, NO, NO...