Angry but Deeply Humbled

As with my friend,B, I have had a whirlwind of emotions the last 10 days, from despair, anger, sympathy, outrage, you name it, I've probably had it. It started out with such compassion and devastation for the victims of Hurricane Katrina and dumbfounded at the loss and despair that those who were affected are having to deal with and seeing their homes or lack there of, is just the tip of the iceberg.

Then I got angry at those who were at the N.O. Convention Center screaming and yelling that they needed help and at those who were shooting and looting. First of all, I realize that there are many people who did not have transportation or the means to evacuate before the storm, but you can't tell me that thousands had no means whatsoever! Had you left when you were told to, our law enforcement, emergency personell and other rescuers wouldn't have had so many to rescue, making things happen much quicker. I also can understand these people breaking in places to get food, water, diapers, shoes and clothes, but jewelry and tvs? It doesn't make any sense. What were they going to do with them? There was no electricity, no pawn shops to hock them, no where to take them. It was just pure greed which just makes me sick.

Then, I got even more angry at all those trying to blame and playing the blame game. Granted, maybe some things weren't done in the blink of an eye and things were delayed, but this hurrican was a natural act of God and no one could have predicted the degree of damage or the path it would take, so how could anyone know how devastating it would be? Ivan was supposed to be horrific, but many lives and homes were spared due to reasons unknown to man. Why are you going to start blaming the government, the president, FEMA, etc. for all of this. Maybe mistakes were made and we should definitely take this as a learning experience and correct it immediately so that if, God forbid, this should reoccur, we won't have these obstacles. I personally think that all the energy and focus should be on rescue and recovery and how to rebuild this great historical city and not on blaming this agency and that agency.

And as if that isn't enough to be miffed about, now they want to start playing the race and socioeconomic status card. Kenyan West went on live TV at a benefit concert saying that the President "don't like Black people". What a presumptious, degrading, uneducated, racist remark. When is this ever going to end? Why does this always end up being the core of all our problems. Does anyone realize that Fats Domino was rescued off of one of those roofs - he is certainly not poor and he is a very influential member of the New Orleans culture. If he wan't top priority, why should any of the other ones be?

Okay, well back to my title of this blog. Those are the negatives of what I have been seeing, especially on CNN, which my husband seems to be addicted to. I however have realized how lucky and blessed I truly am. I feel guilty for having a pantry full of food, a warm, comfortable bed to lie in with my husband, children with all their pretty rooms full of TVs, DVDs, PCs, etc. I look around and wonder what it would be like to have lost everything in a days time. I also feel so helpless because I want to help so bad. I played the lottery Saturday night, hoping to win a bundle so I could build all the families in our areas new, warm homes and help out all those hurting and without.

I look at the faces of those babies crying, hungry and hot. I look at the elderly barely able to walk, then I see those who made the ultimate sacrifice and many of them not even having family members around to know they are no longer with us. I hear all the reporters talking about "refugees", and "body count". People, those are human beings from America. They are not from another country fleeing here. They are not refugees, they are evacuees, survivors, or if you must, victims. They are the strong. I can't barely take this heat out in my yard to mow or pull weeds out of my garden, much less survive in it for days on end with no water or cool air. I just can't imagine and it makes me feel so weak as a person. And as for the "body count", do they realize that they are not just "bodies", that they are someone's mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, son, grandchild, aunt, uncle, friend, cousin.... These people were one of our own, they have names and histories. They all had a story to tell and a legacy to hand down, no matter how old or what race or how poor or well off. They were individuals, not just bodies. That is so diluted and generic and plain disrespectful. I think they all need sensitivity training.

Well, I am sure you have had enough of my rantings for one day. As I look at what I have and what I give to others, I am deeply humbled. I think I need to take a good look in the mirror and ask myself what is really important to me.... I may be surprised to find what I see.