Odd Numbered Years

Odd numbered years depress me. Why, you may ask? Because it is those years that LSUgirl (SR)spends Christmas eve and Christmas morning at her dads and "Santa" has to come early here. Having children of a different marriage sure can confuse things and put a kink into traditions. No watching Santa radar on the TV, no hearing Christmas bells outside our windows, no throwing Reindeer food outside for Rudolph and the others on the real Christmas eve. Instead, we will read "The Night Before Christmas" on the night before the night before Christmas.

On those awful odd years, we had to notify Santa far in advance that she wouldn't be here on Christmas morn, so we would ask him to come early, which he always did- isn't he a jolly, sweet, ole sole! Then on Christmas Eve, they would have to open up presents, play for about an hour, eat breakfast, get dressed and I would have to drive her about an hour to meet her dad.

Thank goodness that her dad and I get along and are real good friends. That was a pact we made when we amicably divorced 7 years ago. We've kept that promise for LSUgirl's sake. It makes it so much easier. No hard feelings, no yaya-in, no having to meet in a sheriff dept parking lot, no recorders, etc. Yeah, we had enough of that kind of relationship with the exwife while she was still alive. The kids really suffered and I am proud of myself and my ex for keeping things all about LSUgirl. She is much happier and healthier that way.

Back to my depression. So this year, my baby girl will be taken from me once again and I will be missing seeing her eyes on the real Christmas morning. Her dad and I have agreed that she will be raised in his Catholic faith, so they will be going to midnight mass without me. Sometimes I just wish I could be a clone.If I weren't married, I would be right there with them- not as a couple, but as a mom. I am one of those people that if I were not married and had a family of my own to take care of, the ex and I could share a place and be joint parents. He could date anyone he wants- as long as they are good to my baby. In fact, I think LSUgirl and I were more upset at his recent breakup with Tara than he was. She was really sweet and LSUgirl adored her and she was a Kindergarten teacher, so that says alot for her character right there in my eyes. Anyhow, she smoked and she had some wild kids, so that one was not for him. Poor LSUgirl has been trying to play cupid for years- she even tried to set up her dad with my older sister and my best friend's little sister (who is like my own lil' sis). Poor baby.

I know it could be a lot worse. I could not even have my child on earth with me, or I could be locked up somewhere or my child could be in a hospital bed. I am so very thankful that she is happy and healthy and able to have a huge family that adores her. She is the only granddaughter so they shower her with love, affection and gifts. She'll be happy on Christmas morning, but like every odd year- I'll get that sweet little phone call that says "Merry Christmas, mommy! I love you and miss you!" and I"ll go crawl in my closet for 5 minutes and squall like a baby, then I'll be good.

So to all you divorcees out there- I know what you go through on the holidays. Its rough, but if we do it right and focus on our children's happiness and put our differences and selfishness aside- they will be a better person. I have proof.