Revelation

I've been off work now since the first part of November and have really enjoyed it. I can sleep in if I want, I get to sit here and blog while sipping my morning coffee and I can come and go as I please- not stuck in a classroom all day unable to run one errand.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job but I really needed this break. I went back too early when I had the mastectomies and all it did was drain me more, so no regrets for taking the time off. I did, however, continue with school and my 12 graduate hours which kept me very busy, especially the last couple of weeks with finals and research papers, etc. You've read the blogs, you know what all I had to do. Anyhow, not that my classes are over for this semester, I am at a complete loss and it just hit me over the head that I may be addicted to school. Is that possible? I feel a huge void in my day and life not having to search frantically through the calendar to see what I have to do for the week.

I have no homework to consume me with, I don't have to make three trips to Monroe during the week, I get to stay home with my family and put a hot meal on the table for them (they eat ramen noodles on class nights- poor babies but they still love them), no stress of work and school and juggling everything all at once. This should completely elate me- so why do I feel at a loss and out of my element? Is it because I have been going to college for the majority of the last 19 years- not every sememster of course, but damn near.

Don't get me wrong- there is no reason for me to be bored. I have a million and one things to do around here- first and foremost- I must clean my office and desk off before my DH has a hissy fit. He "can't find anything", "how did I get so unorganized", "I hope your desk isn't going to look like this in our new bedroom"...yada yada yada. Yeah, yeah I know. One thing that has completely gone by the way side since I have been juggling my life is my organization skills and my incessent need to clean and have this house look imaculate. Not a good habit to lose when your husband's previous marriage consisted of a wife who never worked, never cooked, never cleaned and could live in filth and could be happy as a pig in slop (pardon the pun). So I spoiled him early on and now he wonders where in the world did his anal retentive, obsessive compulsive, perfection of a wife went when it comes to house cleaning and organizing. Bless his heart.

Anyhow. I really think I have issues with being addicted to school. What am I going to do with myself come July when I am completely finished? I WANT to sew, take an art class, maybe start making some pampered pet items which all sound fun to me. But what if my fried brain doesn't allow me to enjoy it?

Bottom line is that I have three more weeks until I go back to work and school. Thank goodness the hustle and bustle of wrapping presents, cooking, etc. will keep me busy. I just find myself wanting to run the roads, go shopping, spend money, buy people things, go visit people, etc. Yesterday, I spent the entire day with my mom, being her chauffer. We went to a senior citizen luncheon, to the mall and to Ruston to one of my favorite stores. I had a really good time just doing for her and having some us time. I could have bought out that store! I gotta get back to work before I am destitute! Haha.